Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Power of Prayer

A truck driver lost a malpractice suit because of his lawyer's incompetence a few years back, and now whenever he drove past the courthouse in town he would deliberately swerve to hit lawyers he saw on the corner waiting to cross the street. This continued for some time until one day he was driving through town during his rounds and he saw a priest hailing a cab. I should repent for my sins, the truck driver thought, and pulled over the side of the road: "Do you need a ride, father?"

"Oh bless you, my son, you truly are a good human being," said the priest, and stepped into the passenger side. The driver continued on his rounds and as he approached the courthouse, he saw a lawyer talking on his cell phone, waiting to cross the road. Instinctively, he swerved to hit the lawyer, only to remember at the last second that he had a priest as a passenger, and swerved back onto the road. He thought he had missed the lawyer when he heard a loud thud and bounced as he drove over the lawyer's body.

"My God!" exclaimed the driver, "Father, I'm so sorry, I thought I had missed him!"

"No worries, my son," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

lol

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost, so she lowered altitude until she spotted a man below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above ground at an elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You're at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican".
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you have not been much help to me".

The man smiled and replied, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

Hi all ;-))